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Bisexuality, True Colors, and the Heart of a Child

May 10, 2010

Happy Monday, guys! This week’s Anonymous Teen Reader is Discreetnessity. I love the image she chose to represent her interview. It’s beautiful but dark, too.

Anyway, like so many of my Anonymous Teen Readers, Dicreetnessity is a complex, insightful individual. I appreciate her honesty in this interview, because I think a lot of teenagers suffer from feelings of depression but so few really want to talk about it.

And sometimes, just knowing you’re not alone can make the biggest difference.


Interview Code Name (you choose!): Discreetnessity

Current country of residence: Pluto…just kidding.. USA

Male or female? Female

Age: 16


How many books, on average, do you read a month? It depends on how busy I am during the month. Usually, I read at least 10 or so depending on the sizes of books and if my teachers decide to give me oodles of homework.

Favorite kind of book and why: I love all types of books to be honest. Sometimes I love to read a real down to earth book that I can relate to that actually is realistic. Other times I want to read something with vampires (and no…I am not a die hard Twilight fan I liked vampires before they were sparkly), witches, demons etc. Then other times I just really, really want to be scared to the point where I know I’ll be having nightmares.

Name the single most important factor in your decision to purchase a book: There isn’t really one single thing that’s important to me. The first thing that catches my eye when I go to buy one is it’s title and the art on the cover. Even then though, if I don’t really like how it looks and I love the description or the first few pages I’ll buy it.

What makes you feel like you’re reading or have read a truly amazing book?

When I actually felt everything the characters felt. If I’m reading a book and the character’s sad then I want to feel sad to but if I’m just like yeah, whatever your sad then I don’t feel like I even managed to connect with the book. I also really love to have that feeling that I can’t put the book down, I just need to keep reading and finish it so I don’t go crazy!

How important is a friend’s recommendation in your decision to purchase a book?
My friends don’t generally recommend books that I like, so unless they tell me something that seems interesting all it will really do is get me to go and try to find more on the book, or try to find it in the library. Usually, when friends recommend me to read books, I won’t actually purchase the book (sad yes I know :[  but I am broke).

Thing you’d like to see more or less of in the YA genre: I’d love to see more about the true problems of depression instead of people just immediately writing that someone has depression so they cut. It gets really annoying especially when you are someone with depression!

What’s your biggest pet peeve in a book? Badly misspelled words. If it’s misspelled to the point where most the word is wrong, I will get so annoyed. Also, I don’t like when stories have to little description and you have to start guessing so much about what’s going on around them. When things start to get really predictable too, it’s something that makes me want to put the book down and never go back to it. My biggest pet peeve with books though, doesn’t even have to do with the books themselves! When I have to read a book for class, it bugs me that I have to go and find so much symbolism and “obvious” things in the book, that unless someone really wanted to find them in there, they wouldn’t.

Paperback or hardcover? Either way. Hardcover lasts longer, but paperback’s cheaper.

Series or stand-alone? Either one as long as it’s interesting!


What music do you most often listen to? Rock and “Alternative” (I really don’t like calling it Alternative). Sometimes techno but only if a friend says that I really need to listen to it.

Name your favorite band. Sixx A.M., Paramore, and Bon Jovi and not always in that order, depends on my mood sometimes there are even more in there!

Best movie of all time? Oh there are so many, but it’d have to be either Titanic or the Butterfly Effect.

Without naming names, tell us a little about your group of friends: I hang out with the most random people. If you were to see us walking around, you’d see a bunch of people that all look “normal” (hate that word but best way to describe it) then a random goth chick (me yay!). Of course, it just makes us laugh so hard because people will ask me if I’m lost, which just makes all of us laugh like maniacs. Mostly all of us are really loud and outgoing, and we all just want to make each other happy and make sure none of us are to sad.

What’s your biggest concern about the world right now and/or the people in it? I’d have to say, the fact that nobody realizes how much slavery is going on in the world around them. The number of slaves now, are higher then there ever were, even before the American Civil War, and it’s just crazy that people can be so ignorant as to think that after that, slaves stopped existing.

Someone gives you a million dollars, no strings attached. What do you do with it? I’d buy my parents a house, a house for myself (both not to big, but not to small), give some to charities to help end slavery, and save the rest for college.

You can live for one year in any place in the world. Where do you go and why? I’d spend the year going to places where known slavery is high, and helping to free slaves even if it costs me a lot of money. Those poor kids (and adults!) deserve to live a life of freedom.

Have you ever “Hidden” someone on your Facebook feed? If so, why? No, but I do plan on hiding some people because they are starting to really bug me. (heh.)

Do you get along with your family? Either way, tell us why. Not really. With me having depression my parents don’t understand that making jokes about how I look or my weight really does hurt and they don’t help me with trying to get better and to feel better about myself. There are times though when we get along really well and it’s the best thing in the world, until they go and say something that sets off my depression. (*hugs* from me to you, hon!)

What is one thing most people don’t know about you? That I only found out I was bisexual, when I fell in love with the girl I’m currently dating and that I have OCD.

Name your biggest secret fear. I’m afraid that one day I’ll wake up, and want to kill myself again. Before this wouldn’t have been a fear, but my girlfriend has begged me to try to keep these feelings under control, and I don’t want to scare her like I did before.

Name something you like about yourself. I like that even though I’m a teenager, I’m still a child at heart and I don’t mind letting the child inside me out every once and a while.

What one thing would you like to know about other teens? Why is it that most people aren’t always themselves at school? Why put on a shell and a fake you instead of letting your true colors fly and being yourself?

11 Comments leave one →
  1. May 18, 2010 5:29 pm

    I’m not depressed, but I’m going through some tough times at the moment. My little sister just got diagnosed with cancer (in April) and is going through chemotherapy as we speak, but since I am an exchange student in England, I can’t be with her. My mum and dad are divorced (and has been for a long time), but now their relationship has gotten really bad and also me and my sister’s strained relationship with our stepmother is not exactly improving. I’m also starting to find out that I most likely have Asperger’s syndrome (I will talk to my doctor when I move home) and while I talk alot about that with my mum (I’m so glad I have her), it’s sort of difficult anyway. I don’t have any friends I can talk to, so mostly I keep moving on and try not to think about it. But it’s really hard some times. I have to say that I have NEVER considered suicide, though. Even though it’s tough right now, I love my life. There’s so many positive things going on as well. It will be better soon. I know it will.

    • michellezinkbooks permalink*
      May 18, 2010 5:55 pm

      Oh, hon… I’m so sorry to hear about your sister. That is really, really scary, and how tough for you that you can’t be there with her. Those kinds of situations put a lot of stress on families all around, but it sounds like you have a good attitude in spite of the terrible situation. I try to remind myself in times like these that the bad times are as temporary as the good. It’s just the nature of things.

      Sending you *hugs* across the miles.


  2. Ayla permalink
    May 11, 2010 5:07 pm

    I know how ya’ll feel. I don’t neccisarily wake up thinking about suicide, but I was in a depression a few months ago. My parents temporarily split up some time in september. Theyre back together now, but for a month I barely even felt like doing anything. My grades dropped but theyre back to normal now.

  3. May 10, 2010 11:20 pm

    Powerful stuff here….Thanks for sharing this.

  4. Erin M. C. permalink
    May 10, 2010 10:08 pm

    I am ten and i recently found out that my mom has depression. It is very scary… I know i am just a kid and no one will reply but… I just feel scared… and like “Cat” (sorry dont know your real name athough you will probably not see this) said i feel like i will just wake up wanting to kill myself. I DO have thoughts of suicid and it doesnt help that these kids harass me! And that they live across the street! Anyway, i Love your books, Mrs. Zink and i cant wait to get the second book! I finished the first in two days! I cant get it yet becuse i didnt clean my room 😦 Futhermore, i wish the best for you “Cat”

    • michellezinkbooks permalink*
      May 10, 2010 11:53 pm

      Oh, hon… please, please, PLEASE seek support form a guidance counselor or trusted adult if you need someone to talk to. It is very scary to see the adults in your life suffer depression. It can make you feel so lost and alone, but I hope you know that you are NOT. There are people out there who can help you through this tough time, even if it’s just by giving you someone to talk to. Your school nurse might be able to help.

      In the meantime, I’m thinking of you and sending you BIG *hugs*.


      PS. Guardian of the Gate isn't out until August 1st, so you have a little over two months to clean your room! I will be giving away some little packages to Prophecy Superfans in the next few weeks, too, so keep your eye on the blog. You definitely qualify! 😀

  5. michellezinkbooks permalink*
    May 10, 2010 4:31 pm

    Thank you so much for posting this, Cat. It’s so, so, SO important that we women reach out to and support our young counterparts. It is HARD being a girl/woman in this world. It is confusing and scary and overwhelming. Having a woman take the time to say, “This was me. I struggled, but I made it through, and you can, too,” makes every difference.

    I ❤ you and can't WAIT to meet in person!


    • May 11, 2010 8:07 pm

      Don’t go calling me a woman. Gah! Makes me feel old and grown up and it’s terrifying to be grown up. 😉

      I have a special place in my heart for girls who seem to go through what I went through at the same age. I feel like I’m supposed to hug them and help them get through it. There’s a friend of mine who is 10 years younger than I am almost exactly, and I met her when I was 22 and she was going through a LOT. I sort of became her surrogate older sister and just felt like I was proof that you can make it through all the crap and depression even if it’s not always easy. You just need someone to lean on!

      • michellezinkbooks permalink*
        May 11, 2010 8:22 pm

        Hey! There is NOTHING wrong with being a woman, you!

        Be PROUD of all you have come through and learned and experienced to call yourself a woman. I am.


  6. May 10, 2010 4:20 pm

    I’m the 34-year old you. A lot of what you answered was me at 16 – only I had my one true love girlfriend at the age of 20. The depression, the OCD, the suicidal thoughts/attempts, all of that was me. Please, please, please know that there is hope at the end of the tunnel and you will make it through with the help of the right friends and in time, your parents. (My father never understood the depression thing and I was on meds and really had trouble, though he often told me I was just being lazy and would never function in the real world… now? I have been medication-free for almost 10 years and suddenly he’s all “Well, you know, you do have that depression problem and I think you might be unhappy again” when I’m not. He means well, he’s just DAD. ;))

    I see so much of myself in this interview. And I’m alive and happy and healthy(ish) and I never thought I would make it to 34 when I was 16. I didn’t think I’d make it to 20 to be honest.

    Hmm, and I didn’t mean to ramble all deeply here. Sorry. But I had to say something. 🙂

    • Discreetnessity permalink
      May 11, 2010 8:01 am

      yeah, I barely got my dad to understand that I needed therapy but I think he does get the fact that there’s something weird with me that there didn’t used to be.

      And, that’s kinda cool, we’re like…twins but years apart lol ^_^

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